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When Chuck Norris spits out watermelon seeds, he puts a machine gun to shameĬhuck Norris doesnt use after shave, he uses liquid hot magma.

The United States could save billions in defense funding if they trade the Military for Chuck Norris On the SAT if you put Chuck Norris for every answer you will score over 8000 There are four legal methods of execution in the United States: lethal injection, gas chamber, electric chair and Chuck Norris.Įarth's emergency defence plan in case of alien invasion is Chuck Norris.Ĭhuck Norris stared evil in the face, and it backed downĬhuck Norris can split the atom. As such, Chuck Norris is also responsible for the eradication of smallpox. Chuck Norris is always in control.Ĭhuck Norris is so bad he makes viruses sick. There is no Control button on Chuck Norris' computer. The wind of Chuck Norris’s round house kick can be felt from 1600 million miles awayĬhuck Norris has held the World Championship in every weight class at the same time. So he roundhouse kicked a loaf of bread into slices.Ĭhuck Norris's sweat has burned holes in concrete. If he did he would have just deleted the internet.īefore sliced bread, people used to say "Thats the greatest thing since Chuck Norris". In Desert Storm the reason why the Iraqi army surrendered so quickly because they knew Chuck Norris was coming.Ĭhuck Norris has never looked a baby in the eyes cause it might him cry but if he does it also makes him want to punch a baby.Ĭhuck norris doesnt go at the speed of light, he goes at the speed of NorrisĬhuck Norris does not know about this website. He was known as Sir Beatdown.Ĭhuck Norris once played rugby by himself. Lightning never strikes twice in one place because Chuck Norris is looking for it.Ĭhuck Norris was once a knight in King Arthur's court. People have often asked the United States, What is your secret weapon against terrorists? We simply reply.Chuck NorrisĬhuck Norris wears Orion's Belt around his pinky toe and he eats with the Big Dipper.Ĭhuck Norris eats lightning and farts thunder. Norris to be killed.Ĭhuck Norris got a perfect score on his SAT's, simply by writing Chuck Norris for every answer.Ĭhuck Norris has to use a stunt double when he does crying scenes.Ĭhuck Norris successfully seperated twins conjoined at the head by roundkicking them in the face.ĭinosaurs went extinct because of the Chuck Norrisaurus. The archeologists wanted to call it ChuckNorrisaurs but the Indian government changed the name to Himotosaurous because it’s simply not possible for Mr. The one in the middle is believed to have killed the others with a single roundhouse kick to the face. It’s actually many dinosaurs but one is in the middle of all the others. Never slap Chuck Norris.Ĭhuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.Īrcheologists in India recently uncovered a new dinosaur. When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. People created the automobile to escape from Chuck Norris.Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris created the automobile accident.Ĭhuck Norris roundhouse kicks people in the face first and asks questions later. It wasn't exactly like it, but it was pretty good for a deer!'" Norris goes up to the deer and says, 'I'm Chuck Norris! SAY IT!' Then he manipulates the deer's lips in such a way as to make it say, 'ChuckNorris'. "One time I was with Norris in the back of a pickup truck, along with a live deer. Posted: Sat 5:54 am Post subject: Chuck NorrisĬhuck Norris uses Tabasco Sauce for eye drops.Ĭhuck Norris can get Blackjack with just one card.